I landed in Thailand in the middle of Songkran (Thai New Year) festivities and it seemed petulant not to join in. But I had to arm myself first &mdash with this bulbous water gun (39 baht). For in Thailand they do unto their neighbours at New Year what we do unto ours on Holi. Let&rsquos just say there is a lot of water. So there I was, outside my hotel, gun at the ready for any passerby foolish enough to come within striking distance.

And then I saw their guns, water cannons really, which could be pumped up to administer near-fatal shots. And they came with drums filled with ice-cold water. Some were using garden pipes. It was wet and cold. I decided to come back home.